Ciao...

    I'm gonna be away from home for a while because of personal / family issues, work, etc. With all the recent events my life has turned around 180 degrees. So this is kind of a farewell. I might be posting again in the future, telling you about my experience or new projects on my life, who knows. Anyway, thanks to everybody who has been visiting, reading, commenting, and to everybody I've met through this blog for being an inspiration for me to some degree. Hope everything goes amazingly well for you all. Now I'm just gonna pretend Marcello did not turn around in this beautifully moving scene ― one of my favorite finales in cinema history, and one of the best ― and went back to his friends, but actually walked towards the girl, as that imaginary scene in my mind is kind of what I'm doing now. 

“I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find you're not, 

I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”

― F. Scott Fitzgerald

Ciao,

Mara.

Give sorrow words.

 “I just feel like all the sand is at the bottom of the hour glass or something.”  ― Adam

 

“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.”  ― William Shakespeare, Macbeth

“Now something so sad has hold of us that the breath leaves and we can't even cry.” ― Charles Bukowski

“And then it was, that grief and pain made themselves known to me as never before. Note this, because I knew the full absurdity of Fate and Fortune. And perhaps the description of this, brief as it is, may give consolation to another. The worst takes its time to come, and then to pass. The truth is, you cannot prepare anyone for this, nor convey an understanding of it through language. It must be known. And this I would wish on no one in the world.” ― Anne Rice, Pandora

    The words and images above are just an expression of what I'm feeling these days. I could have used my own words, what I've been writing, but some of the lines are too personal and in order to share or publish something I need to feel a little detached from it. Something that the passing of time provides. But I feel that sharing these emotions with the help of images and words is liberating and keeps my mind busy. I think it also comes from my love for cinema and literature, 'cause re-watching films about loss and grief, or reading about it, makes me feel that someone else understands what I'm going through right now. Feel united to those characters, to those writers, other people that has lost someone or are enduring with a relative's severe disease, also helps. Besides I've discovered, thanks to a friend, this amazing blog: 'Ekphora: The Grief Project'. And all this made me think that someone else has been there before and that this too shall pass. Positive thinking is the only way to cope with all this bad fate or fortune I'm having, as good old Shakespeare would put it.

― Still Life, The Horrors

Ph.: Marine Vacth by Paolo Roversi for Vogue Italia (Jan. 2014), The Tree of Life, 2011; Jane Eyre, 2011; Virginia Woolf in Venice, Lupe Jelena, Only Lovers Left Alive, 2013; last-half-moon, Cría cuervos..., 1975; adessive, Misma Andrews, Skammen, 1968; Persona, 1966; À coeur joie, 1967; To the Wonder, 2012; Zerkalo, 1975, Trois couleurs: Bleu, 1993.

Distinguish melancholy from sadness

“Find meaning. Distinguish melancholy from sadness. Go out for a walk. 

 It doesn’t have to be a romantic walk. Spring at its most spectacular moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you into another world. 

It doesn’t have to be a walk during which you’ll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. 

Find meaning or don’t find meaning but “steal” some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn’t make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.” 

—  Albert Camus, Notebooks (1951-1959)

[Krystian Zimerman & Kaja Danczowska play
César Franck's Violin Sonata, 1st movement.]

As the decay of winter slowly fades away and spring's bloom rises the images above, Camus' words, and that beautiful and melancholical piece reflect my mood during these days. 

— Mara

Ph.: L’Eclisse (1962), Olga Onischenko, Leopoldo Pomés (Revista Grúa, 1957), Brigitte Bardot, Elise Crombez by Annemarieke van Drimmelen ('Io Sono L’Amore', Vogue Netherlands, December 2012), Raymond Depardon (Jardin du Luxembourg, 1989), Jean Seberg, the69th, oprahhatparty, poppycockburn, most-beautiful-girls-caps, nostalgia, Nymph()maniac vol. I (2013), La Notte (1961), Visual 404

October days are always remembered

"I remember it as October days are always remembered, cloudless, maple-flavored, the air gold and so clean it quivers."

—  Leif Enger

October is almost gone and it has been one of the hottest beginnings of Autumn that I can recall. When I look back at the past weeks it feels like I've been walking through the grounds of a Terrence Malick film: I see sunny days strolling in the fields near my house all covered by crimson and ochre grasses. 

The air was colder in the morning and you could feel too warm and cozy under the blankets. I've made my first ever attempt at making plum and apricot's jam with fruits from my aunt's garden, and they are quite delicious. I also have started taking piano lessons, again. My aunt gave me a piano for my birthday when I was eight or nine, but I dropped out during the second year of lessons. Long time without playing, but it's better late than never. The same goes with painting. When I was a child and during my teenagehood I used to paint a lot, but one day I stopped. Now I've decided to do some watercolors and my biggest inspiration right now is Egon Schiele, I'm loving his drawings and watercolors. These are two ways to relieve the stress from university, like reading. If I wouldn't had to study, I could have spent the whole afternoon sitting on my garden eating grapes and reading Patti Smith's Just Kids and James Joyce's Ulysses (yeah, I'm still reading it. It's a long long book, but I'm enjoying it a lot). And I have been listening to sweet songs from Billie Holiday, Etta James, Jeff Buckley, Devendra Banhart, Lou Reed (RIP), The Smiths, Warpaint and Beach House. I've also been kind of addicted to François Ozon's Jeune et Jolie soundtrack. I haven't seen the film yet, but the score by Philippe Rombi is delightful and it's the perfect companion for the gloomy autumn evenings.

Hope your beginning of Autumn is going well. 

Ph.: Majaln, adieu-tristesse, Elizabeth Olsen, softredinteriors, Devendra Banhart & Ana Kras by Mads Teglers, Egon Schiele, theotherway, Marine Vacth, Dabito, Annie Hall (1977), visualarchives, styleallureattitude, twobirdsonabranch, Badlands (1973)